JOURNEY OF LIFE
Start of Life
Pregnancy – from preparation to birth
Learn what the Sikh Dharam teaches about the start of life
Life after delivery: A parable
In a mother’s womb were two babies. One asked the other: “Do you believe in life after delivery?”The other replied, “Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.”
“Nonsense” said the first. “There is no life after delivery. What kind of life would that be?”
The second said, “I don’t know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths. Maybe we will have other senses that we can’t understand now.”
The first replied, “That is absurd. Walking is impossible. And eating with our mouths? Ridiculous! The umbilical cord supplies nutrition and everything we need. But the umbilical cord is so short. Life after delivery is to be logically excluded.”
The second insisted, “Well I think there is something and maybe it’s different than it is here. Maybe we won’t need this physical cord anymore.”
The first replied, “Nonsense. And moreover if there is life, then why has no one has ever come back from there? Delivery is the end of life, and in the after delivery there is nothing but darkness and silence and oblivion. It takes us nowhere.”
“Well, I don’t know,” said the second, “but certainly we will meet Mother and she will take care of us.”
The first replied “Mother? You actually believe in Mother? That’s laughable. If Mother exists then where is She now?”
The second said, “She is all around us. We are surrounded by her. We are of Her. It is in Her that we live. Without Her this world would not and could not exist.”
Said the first, “ Well I don’t see Her, so it is only logical that She doesn’t exist.”
To which the second replied, “Sometimes, when you’re in silence and you focus and you really listen, you can perceive Her presence, and you can hear Her loving voice, calling down from above.”
Preparing for pregnancy
In Sikh teachings, from the panorama of 8.4 million life forms, from matter and minute organisms to plants and animals, the human form is at the pinnacle. No matter what our social status or sex, we are all born equal in dignity. With the ability to reflect, imagine, create, discern and make choices, we have a unique chance to kindle the flame of the Divine within us.
For parents-to-be, the practice of simran, or meditative remembrance, is a form of spiritual nutrition. It also helps prepare the home of the body that will receive new life. As simran becomes an awareness of God with each breath, it lifts anxiety and helps the couple to navigate challenges, build wisdom and prepare for parenthood as a shared and sacred responsibility. The mother then father are considered the first ‘gurus’ or teachers, for their child’s spiritual as well as physical, mental and emotional nurture.
To prepare for pregnancy and parenthood, Sikhs look back to the family lives of their ten Gurus. Family life was honoured as helping our spiritual growth by bringing into play qualities such as love, commitment, sacrifice, mutual support, acceptance, and perseverance. The ninth Guru and his wife remained childless for many years, but understood that they were destined to have a child. For this they consciously prepared through daily meditation for 26 long years, whilst continuing to fulfil their day-today responsibilities and serve others.
Preparing the mind, body and environment
Parents-to-be are advised to prepare before conception in a number of ways, by caring for their physical and mental health. For mothers-to-be, the NHS recommends taking 400mcg of folic acid every day before conception until at least the 12th week of pregnancy. They are also advised to stop smoking or drinking alcohol, and to maintain a healthy lifestyle, in terms of physical nutrition and activity, as well as emotional wellbeing. Taking vitamins and exercise is important. GPs should be consulted regarding the impact of any medication on the unborn child, and the importance of vaccinations. Increasingly, non-physical factors of health, such as stress and trauma, are being acknowledged for their impact on physical wellbeing and, in some cases, fertility. Epigenetics explores the impact of intergenerational trauma, bringing into focus the importance of the social conditions and environments we create for raising new generations of children.
Known and unknown factors
In Eastern traditions, including Buddhist, Hindu, Jain and Sikh beliefs, the possibility and impossibility to conceive is linked to a delicate and complex web of conditions, both knowable and unknowable. These are related to where we are physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually on our life journey, as well as soul’s journey across lifetimes. The atmosphere and environment also plays an important role, shaped by the relationships and interactions around us. Some of these factors are in our control to change. For others, we must combine acceptance, wisdom and creative thinking to navigate through challenges in ways that preserve our peace and wellbeing. Whether or not we go on to conceive and have a child, this phase of preparation, when it does not cling too hard to an outcome, can be ultimately rewarding. It shifts our attention to self-care, spiritual nurture and peace-buildings in our lives, reminding us that we all carry an inner light or spirit.
The womb: the first learning environment
After conception, the human embryo develops remarkably from week to week to become a fetus at week eight and then develop till full term. By 24 weeks, the unborn child is able to hear sounds. The first human sound is of course the mother ’s voice and her everyday language which the baby starts to recognise. Already, it can recognise tastes and smells and discern flavours from the food the mother eats through the amniotic fluid it swallows. Its development is also impacted by maternal stress, with raised cortisol levels predisposing a baby to health issues in later life, such as depression and irritability.
It follows that mothers are advised to be conscious of communicating and bonding with their baby during pregnancy, through talking and singing, as well as speaking languages they may wish to cultivate in their child. A rich and varied diet is also recommended, as well as prioritising emotional wellbeing
A connection with the Divine
In Sikh teaching, the presence of a growing baby in the womb is also the presence of a soul or spirit arriving into the world. Our nine or ten months in the womb is the initial, unseen stage of our life journey. Sikh verses inform us that, as we were suspended in tight confinement, it was our meditation on life’s Source that sustained us – a state of deep connection to the Divine.
The word ‘Sikh’ means a ‘learner ’ and pregnancy is a window of time for a mother to become doubly conscious of cultivating learning within herself as well as her baby, through what she thinks and says, eats, feels, hears and sees to help her grow in peace and wisdom. This also means being able to safeguard oneself from undue stress by nurturing detachment, resilience and faith. In life, true human flourishing comes through reconnecting with the Divine and so blossoming in wisdom and vir tue. Since this can easily be forgotten in the distractions and duties of our everyday lives, pregnancy can be a golden time to devote oneself to prayerful practices to create a meditative and content environment, both in the womb and the surrounding home through marital and family relationships.
Traditionally, a mother-to-be spends a period of time with her own mother, before and after childbirth, so she herself can feel the peace, protection and security of being with loved ones who know her well.
Teachings from other faiths
In the Hindu Dharam or faith, garb sanskar is the tradition that focuses on preparing the mind and body for pregnancy, and nurturing the unborn child within the mother’s womb (garb).
This holistic approach to prenatal care emphasises the importance
of creating an ideal environment for the baby’s development. The mother’s mental and emotional state is seen to significantly influence the baby’s overall wellbeing, including its inclinations, personality, and physical health.
Confucian birth rituals centre on T’ai-shen or ‘the spirit of the fetus’, with a focus on protecting an expectant mother from influences that might harm her. The mother is given a special diet and is allowed to rest for a month after delivery
Childbirth: Welcoming a newborn
As the baby leaves the womb and is exposed to the world, Sikh teachings explain that the newborn’s ‘cry’ is the first pang of human separation from God. The world we grow into can either help us reconnect or forgetfully disconnect. Hence, the mother and family are encouraged to create a loving atmosphere of Divine remembrance around the newborn. A few sips of ‘amrit’, or sweetened and sanctified water, are given to bless the baby, evoking a sweet state of Divine connection.
The period after birth is a chance for maternal recovery, as well as bonding with the child without too many distractions. Traditionally, there is a 40 day rest and bonding period, during which the mother eats rejuvenating foods, receives massages, and spends ample quality time with the baby. Over this time a name will be chosen, following a prayer service and the penning of the sacred scripture at random. The first letter of the verse that appears is taken as the first letter of the name the family will choose.
Stages of labour
When the baby is ready to be born, the mother’s cervix starts to soften and dilate, and she begins to experience early irregular contractions. Mothers are advised to eat and drink at this time to gain energy for labour. Breathing exercises, massage and having a warm bath or shower may help ease pain during this early stage of labour.
In the first stage of labour, the mother’s cervix has dilated to about 4cm and her contractions become stronger and more regular. When the waters break, they become even stronger.
In second stage, the cervix fully dilates to 10cm, and the mother pushes until the baby’s head emerges. Then, after one or two more contractions, the baby is fully born. The mother can hold the baby to her skin, and breastfeed as soon as she wishes. Exposed to the air and new environment, the baby’s first cry shows the lungs are working properly
In the third stage of labour, the womb contracts and the placenta comes out. Between 4-5 minutes after the baby’s birth, the umbilical cord is cut. Usually where there is medical need, a number of interventions can help the process of labour.
Spiritual customs around birth
Guru Nanak, who founded the Sikh faith, was born into a Hindu family. At his birth, Dualatan Dai, his Muslim midwife, reported seeing a beam of light fill the room, and hearing wise laughter instead of a baby’s cries. She is remembered fondly as the first person to witness Guru Nanak’s arrival in the world.
The family priest foretold the child would acknowledge One God, yet respect and be respected by all faiths.
In regions such as the Punjab, the midwife (or doula) was traditionally seen as a special birth figure for the baby, imparting some of her own spiritual qualities to the newborn. So too, was the person specially chosen by the family to give ‘gurti’, a touch of something sweet, as the child’s very first food.
In Buddhist tradition, monks are invited to the house when a baby is born to chant the holy texts. Based on the time and date of birth, they will select a letter as the start of the baby’s name. Within one month, the baby is brought to the temple for blessings and is placed before the statue of Buddha.